There’s a myth that eveybody in the middle ages ran around looking rough, with uncombed hair, black teeth, bad complexions, and smelling rather bad. Nothing could be further from the truth if contemporary records are anything to go by. Beauty tips abound.
Take hair for instance. This applies to men and women: mix dried rose petals, cloves, nutmeg and galangal with rose water and rinse through the hair. Leave to dry. Should smell re-e-a-ally good.
For a smooth, touchable skin melt beeswax, almond oil, rose oil and frankincense in a dish over a flame. Allow to cool. Massage into face and body. It also eases aches and pains after jousting.
For bright eyes mix one part of wych hazel with four parts water. Use as eye lotion. Is said to improve eyesight too so you’ll see those pointed swords coming and it’ll give you an edge down at the butts.
To lighten dark hair to look like a Florentine blonde soak hair in a bowl of fresh urine. OK so that does sound wiffy but if you rinse the hair with the rose petal concoction afterwards you should still have plenty of allure.
Teeth should be brushed using a hazel twig with mashed up fennel and lovage. And, if you can get it, salt.
For pleasant breath chew a leaf of mint or parsley.
To make lips looks red and kissable rub them with beetroot.
To round off your beauty treatment go to one of the town baths (the stews) and have a bran soak to make your skin feel like best Cathay silk.
After all that, don your best poulaines and a clean houplande and go to the feast at your nearest castle where you’ll be the belle or beau of the ball.